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Feature Article: Passenger Boarding Information
Welcome aboard this non-commercial flight in the vicinity
of San Francisco. We will be departing shortly and with any luck
at all will continue to be airborne until our return to our departure
point. You will be instructed to fasten your seat belt and you
are expected to obey the aircraft captain in every other instance.
Please make sure your seatbelt is on and that your seat is securely
fastened to the fuselage. At this time, any personal items should
be stowed securely in the trunk of your car, since there is no
overhead compartment or space beneath your seat, to speak of.
Please turn off all portable electronic devices, and keep them
off until we have landed safely, or for the duration of the flight,
whichever comes first. Smoking is not permitted inside the cabin;
smoking outside the cabin should be reported to the captain immediately.
There is no beverage service during the flight. If you need to
make a bathroom stop, do so prior to our departure. In-flight
entertainment will consist of watching the pilot's desperate
struggle to control the plane. We'll be flying at an altitude
deemed, in the opinion of the pilot, to be safe and most likely
to avoid other aircraft. This is in theory; but, should the plane's
altitude drop precipitously, please check to ensure that the
pilot is awake and in an upright position. As we prepare for
takeoff, please take this opportunity to locate the exit nearest
you and, if you have any sense at all, avail yourself of it before
it's too late. In a moment, the pilot will begin handing out
the release forms in preparation for takeoff. Be assured that
in all his time aloft, the pilot has never lost a passenger;
however, your results may vary. Now sit back, relax, and enjoy
Last Modified July 5, ©2015 TAGE.COM